


Beautiful With Scars

by AceOnIce



Series: Author Magnus / Soldier Alec AU [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Body Worship, Boys In Love, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intercrural Sex, Love Confessions, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mundane Magnus Bane/Mundane Alec Lightwood, POV Alec Lightwood, Porn With Plot, Protective Magnus Bane, Rimming, Soldier Alec Lightwood, Soldier Jace Wayland, Supportive Jace Wayland, Supportive Magnus Bane, Tattoos, War Veteran Alec Lightwood, War Veteran Jace Wayland, Writer Magnus Bane, plot and then porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22176598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce
Summary: Alec and Jace get matching tattoos on their shoulders. Alec gets his over his scarred shoulder. Magnus makes sure Alec knows he's beautiful, scars and all.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Author Magnus / Soldier Alec AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1596298
Comments: 14
Kudos: 290





	Beautiful With Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Title is 100% based off Alessia Cara's song, even though the lyrics don't fit that well with the story.  
> Lots of fluff. The tattoos Alec and Jace get is the parabatai rune.

Alec Lightwood hates the scars on his shoulder. The place where his skin pales and dips like a small crater. The white line that runs through it from the surgery. He doesn't regret taking the bullet, but he hates the way it's carved onto his skin. Hates that it still hurts some times- phantom pains. He hates when Magnus presses soft kisses to it because it's the ugliest part of him. Magnus shouldn't have to look at it at all, but he still treats it like it's beautiful.

Alec presses his fingers to the skin around the bullet wound, unable to stand touching it directly. It's not painful, but it makes his stomach twist. Hopefully it will be better after today. Black ink in any shape has to be better than the mutilated skin currently on display. 

As if Magnus can hear him thinking negatively about himself, Alec's boyfriend appears in the doorway of the bathroom. His hair is styled, specialized blue gel applied to highlight a streak of it, eyeliner dark around his eyes. Eyes that are carefully observing Alec. "Is everything alright?"

Alec drops his hand from his scar, turning away from the bathroom mirror. He'd gotten distracted after showering and pulling on jeans. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Magnus doesn't seem to believe him. Three months into their relationship and Magnus is able to easily detect Alec's flimsy lies. He pads across the bathroom with his bare feet- somehow he'd taken the time to do his hair and makeup and put together a perfectly stylish outfit, but he hadn't yet found a pair of socks. He comes up behind Alec, turning them to face the mirror, hugging him from behind, pressing kisses into the junction where Alec's neck meets his shoulder.

"You're thinking about this." One of his hands came up to circle the wound. It makes Alec shiver even as he grimaces at the sight of scar in the mirror. "You're too hard on yourself."

Alec sighs, putting his hands over Magnus', pausing their movements and holding them tight. "I'm getting a tattoo today."

Magnus lifts his head enough to meet Alec's eyes in the mirror. He sets his chin on Alec's shoulder. "You've never mentioned wanting a tattoo before?"

Alec turns away from the mirror to face Magnus, dropping his hands. Magnus takes a step back to give him ample space. "I read this article about women getting tattoos over their mastectomy scars and Jace has been wanting to get matching tattoos since we joined the military."

"Jace is getting one as well?" Alec nods, watching Magnus' face for any sign of reaction. He keeps it carefully hidden, not an open book like Alec.

"Yeah, I'm getting mine here," he touches the scar on his shoulder. "Jace is getting his over his heart."

"Can I see the design or do I have to wait till it's permanently marked on your skin?"

Alec bites his lip. "You don't want me to get a tattoo?"

"I didn't say that," Magnus counters right away. He brings his hand to Alec's shoulder, laying his palm over the wound. "I just hate the idea that you're so uncomfortable with this, this display of your loyalty and love, that you want to hide it away."

Alec ducks his head at Magnus' insightful remark. "It's not _just_ that. I do hate it, but I want to turn it into something nicer to look at. And I really like the tattoo design."

Magnus rocks onto his toes, just slightly, so he can reach his own lips to Alec's. He lays a gentle kiss there, barely a brush of lips, before rocking back down. "I'm still curious about the design."

"I'll show you," Alec leads them back into Magnus' bedroom to get his phone. He pulls up his texts with Jace and scrolls until he finds the picture. It's a simple design, black on white, almost looking like an overly dramatic cursive I. He shows it to Magnus. "Jace's girlfriend drew it."

"It's very fitting," Magnus remarks. "It will look lovely on you Alexander. Is it alright if I accompany the two of you or is this one of the things you prefer to do alone?" There's no judgement or criticism in Magnus' voice. He's been understanding of Alec's complicated relationship with Jace ever since Alec assured him there was nothing romantic about it.

They grew up next door to each other, Jace being raised by his single, alcoholic father, spending most of his time at Alec's house. They were brothers in everything but blood by this point, even if Alec had harbored a very awkward and unrequited crush on the other boy during his teen years. 

"I'd like for you to be there. We're going in an hour, are you free?"

"I can be." Magnus pulls out his own phone and begins expertly navigating through it.

Alec instantly protests. "It's okay if you're busy, you don't have to come-"

"It's nothing big. Just lunch with Ragnor to discuss cowriting a novel, I'll reschedule for tomorrow." Magnus puts his phone away. "There, done!"

Alec resists the urge to roll his eyes and kisses his boyfriend's cheek instead. Three words come to the tip of his tongue and he wants to say them, but it's still early in their relationship. He doesn't want to scare Magnus away when things have been going so well. Instead he says, "Thank you."

"Any time darling."

***

Alec quickly realizes that getting a tattoo, especially over scar tissue, is an extremely painful process. Getting stabbed with a tiny needle over and over is probably one of the least pleasant experiences Alec has had in his life. It ranks somewhere right below getting shot and enduring military training. At least those experiences have taught Alec how to accept and deal with pain as it comes.

It doesn't stop him from nearly crushing Magnus' hand with his own. He doesn't feel guilty about it either. Magnus was the one that insisted on holding his hand when he knew he'd be in pain. 

Alec grits his teeth when he realizes Jace is watching with a barely concealed smile.

"Yeah, keep looking smug over there, it's your turn next," Alec reminds him. The smile falls off Jace's face and he presses his hand over his heart where the tattoo will go.

Magnus is looking at Alec with something akin to pride in his eyes, smothering a laugh behind his free hand. "So, Jace, I hear you have a new girlfriend? An artist?"

"Yeah, she's great." Jace looks wistful right away, staring off into space like a lovesick fool.

Alec is grateful for the distraction. "So when do we get to meet her?"

"Oh. Never."

"What?" 

Even Magnus raises an eyebrow at Jace. 

Jace's cheeks gain a light pink hue which would be hilarious in any other situation. Alec glares at him. "I'm in the middle of getting a very painful tattoo that will match the one you're getting, drawn by your girlfriend, and you won't let me meet her?"

"Look, it's just... you can be a little judgmental sometimes."

Alec glowers at his best friend since childhood. "Excuse me?"

"Remember when Izzy introduced us to Raphael? You weren't exactly chill."

"Because he got her hooked on illegal drugs," Alec hisses back, ignoring the curious expressions on both Magnus' and the tattoo artist's faces. "I was fine when we met Simon." Jace fixes him with a look of disbelief. "What? I was."

"You asked him if goes to Comic Con-"

"He _does_."

"And then you proceeded to call him Sherman for the rest of the afternoon."

Magnus is giggling. His hand over his mouth doing little to stifle the sound. Alec glares at him and he falls silent, his hand dropping to pat Alec's where it's being held in his other hand. "What? I'm enjoying hearing about this side of you. The overbearing older brother, critical of anyone his siblings bring home."

"See? Magnus is chill, he could meet Clary."

Alec's face screws up. "Her name is Clary?"

"There's the judgement!"

"It's an honest question." Alec clutches Magnus' hand harder as the needle moves over the most sensitive part of his scarring. 

Jace shakes his head. "You won't like her and then you'll be rude and she'll be upset and I'll have to explain that that's how you are and it's just a whole mess of drama I would rather avoid."

"That's dumb. I introduced you to Magnus, you think that wasn't dramatic at all?"

Jace glances between then as Magnus looks at Alec. He's not going to spill their secrets for Jace to dissect, he just wants to make a point.

"Was it?"

"Very," Magnus confirms. "I think what Alexander is trying to say, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that you're hardly perfect, but he still introduces you to the people he dates because he values your opinion. And he'd like to think you feel the same."

Magnus glances at Alec who nods. "Exactly. Also I want to meet her."

Jace sighs. "Fine, but only if Magnus is there too. He mellows you out."

Alec grins at his boyfriend. He'll consider that a success. 

"So, just out of curiosity, what was your initial opinion of me?" Magnus asks Jace.

Alec's grin fades. "Magnus."

"You haven't told him?" Jace's smile is too sly and smug. He's loving that he has something, anything, over Alec. 

The pain finally ends and Alec glances at his shoulder. The beautiful design is inked there, over his very red skin. His scar is invisible, completely covered by ink. It's the best he's felt about his shoulder in years. 

"Now, because it's on scar tissue, you may have to come back later to get parts of it refreshed, sometimes the color doesn't hold as well. As usual, try not to expose it to sun, especially for the first two weeks and no swimming." She goes over the rest of the instructions as she smears petroleum jelly over the tattoo and covers it with a bandage. Then she adds, "I'll give you a paper with all of this on it before you leave as well." 

"Thank you." Alec stands up, his shoulder sore in an achey sort of way, and looks at Jace. "Your turn."

Jace grimaces but climbs into the chair, stripping off his shirt to show where he wants the tattoo to go. Alec takes the seat Jace had been in before, still holding on to Magnus' hand. 

When the tattoo gun starts up and Jace's face contorts into pain, Magnus asks again, "So, what was your first impression of me?"

Jace snorts. Alec groans and nuzzles his forehead into Magnus's shoulder as best he can from his chair, hiding his face, as Jace answers, "That night I met you I told Alec, and I quote 'good job, he's a keeper'."

"Oh," Magnus sounds quite happy.

"And then I told him-"

Alec scowls into Magnus shoulder. "Don't."

Jace is laughing. "I told him to go get some."

Alec groans, muttering incoherently, face flushing with embarrassment. "I told him to get his nose out of our relationship."

"And yet you followed his advice." Magnus places a kiss on the top of Alec's head and he resigns himself to the fact that he can never look any of them in the eye ever again or he risks shriveling up from embarrassment. Jace laughs until the tattoo artist tells him he has to hold still.

"I hate both of you," Alec mutters half-heartedly into Magnus' shoulder, even as his heart pounds under his chest, telling him he's a liar. Because Jace knows Alec loves him. And maybe he hasn't told Magnus that he loves him yet, but that doesn't make it any less true.

***

It takes a week before the skin around the tattoo heals enough to make it look bold instead of painful. When it does, Alec finds the only tank top he owns and puts it on. Izzy bought it for him over a year ago and he'd shoved it to the back of his closet without ever putting it on. The last thing he'd wanted to do was show off his scar, even if Isabelle and Jace, and later, Magnus, told him it wasn't something to be ashamed of. It was still ugly.

Now, Alec is able to not only wear the shirt, but admire his shoulder once he has it on. The beautiful black ink stands out against his pale skin. He can look at it in the mirror without cringing now.

Alec pulls on a pair of gym shorts as well and heads over to Magnus' apartment. He thought he'd hate morning yoga because it was composed of two things he typically didn't enjoy; mornings and yoga. But having Magnus as his own personal instructor, and being able to watch the variety of shapes Magnus could bend himself into, made the whole thing not only bearable, but surprisingly pleasant. 

While Alec had taken to spending more nights at Magnus' apartment than his own recently, he'd spent the night before in his own bedroom, having to work on a paper for class right up until the midnight deadline. Magnus had told him he was welcome to do it at his apartment, but Alec didn't want to disrupt his boyfriend's sleep schedule. It was also much harder to focus when Magnus was there. 

Now, though, Alec mourns the lack of sleep he'd got the night before and questions his decision to do yoga this morning. Still, his steps remain large and confident as he crosses the apartment complex. 

Magnus opens the door before Alec even knocks, holding out a mug of coffee like he'd known Alec would need it. Alec accepts the coffee gratefully, watching Magnus' eyes fall to his tattoo. It seemed to daze him enough to forget his hello kiss which makes Alec pout and press his fingers to Magnus chin, lifting his head for a quick kiss. 

Magnus smiles at him when he moves back and Alec feels like the sheer weight of that look might topple him. He is, as Jace would say, so whipped. He can't help it though. Magnus always looks so soft and vulnerable in the mornings, before he styles his hair or applies his makeup. Alec knows most people would never be get to see him this way and it always catches him off guard that Magnus allows him to see it.

"Good morning darling. Finish the paper last night?"

"Yeah, just in time." Alec sips at the coffee as Magnus, somehow wide awake without needing a drop of caffeine, leans against his kitchen counter. Apparently Alec gets to drink the entirety of the coffee before they start yoga, an unusual, but welcome occurrence.

Magnus is studying the bags under his eyes. "When did you get to sleep?"

Alec shrugs, "Around one? I think."

"Alexander." The tone of Magnus' voice is strict which makes Alec want to smile. "If you needed to sleep in I would have understood."

"Wanted to see you."

The small, smitten smile Alec gets in response is worth more than a good night of sleep.

"Regardless," Magnus steps forward and pries the half-empty coffee from Alec's hands, despite his complaints. "No yoga this morning. At least, not now. You look dead on you feet, come on, we'll nap first."

Alec tries to put up a fight, knowing how much Magnus likes his sunrise yoga, but he's too tired to be successful. He looses his gym shoes as he follows Magnus to his bedroom. Alec practically falls onto Magnus' plush mattress. He doesn't think it's actually that much better than his own, objectively, but there's something about being in Magnus' bed that is inherently comforting. It's probably because it smells like Magnus.

Magnus lifts the comforter and slides into the bed, getting comfortable before tugging Alec closer to him. Alec, already half asleep and compliant goes easily, curling into Magnus' side, resting his arm on Magnus' chest, his head on his shoulder.

Magnus traces little figures on Alec's arm until he dozes off.

***

When Alec wakes up he's on his side, cuddling a pillow. Magnus is sitting, reclining against the headboard, reading an old-looking book. Alec pouts, pushing the pillow aside. He pushes himself up on one arm and leans over to kiss Magnus' cheek, to get his attention.

Magnus hums and presses a bookmark into his book, setting it on the nightstand. He turns and finally gives Alec a real kiss, somehow strong and gentle at the same time.

"Good morning," Magnus says when he leans back. Alec follows him, plastering himself against Magnus' side, still sleepy enough not to fight his instincts. Magnus doesn't complain, wrapping an arm around him

"What time is it?"

Magnus checks his phone. "Ten."

Alec groans. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep so long."

"It's alright, you needed the rest."

Alec sits up, stretching his arms over his head, grinning at the way Magnus stares. When he puts his arms down, Magnus lifts a hand to trace around the edge of Alec's new tattoo, careful not to touch it. Then he taps the tank-top. "I like this."

Alec glances down at the shirt. It's pretty boring, a simple dark blue fabric, and too loose to accentuate his muscles. "Why?"

"It's not so much the shirt as your newfound confidence," Magnus muses, sitting on his knees to face Alec. "You know I liked your scar, but I didn't realize how much I'd like you with a tattoo."

Heat flares in Alec's stomach. He knows that tone. "Oh?"

Magnus presses his hands to Alec's shoulders, carefully avoiding the tattoo again, to press him back into the bed. Alec goes willingly, happy when Magnus moves to straddle his knees, pressing against him to kiss from his jaw to his shoulder. "It looks good on you." He bites the skin a few inches above the tattoo, making Alec shiver and lift his hips, pressing his erection, blame morning wood, to Magnus' stomach. There are too many layers of clothing between them.

Magnus smiles against his skin, but when Alec goes to touch him, he captures Alec's wrists and presses them into the bed, distracting him with a deep kiss. "Let me take care of you," he mumbles against Alec's lips.

Alec nods, not sure what else to do. Magnus sits up to pull Alec's tank top over his head so he can run his hands over Alec's chest. Then he picks up Alec's right hand and places soft kisses to the pad of each fingertip. Alec watches, breathless and captivated. No one has ever treated him so gently.

When Magnus reaches his thumb, his tongue darts out to lick the skin. Then he presses a kiss to Alec's palm before moving to his wrist. He sucks at the pulse point, not long enough to leave a mark, just enough to make Alec shiver beneath him. Magnus sets his hand down, skating his fingers over Alec's arm. He lifts it to place a kiss at the crease of Alec's elbow.

Alec can only watch. The moment is almost painfully soft. They've had gentle sex before, but this is different. This feels like a physical manifestation of love and Alec desperately wants to return it. But he also wants to see what Magnus will do next. 

Magnus moves up his arm to place kisses around the tattoo. "Beautiful." He kisses the top of Alec's shoulder, nibbles at his collarbone, dips his tongue into the dip at the top of his chest, licks across the other collar bone. He brushes his fingers over Alec's other shoulder, following the lines with his lips. He plants soft kisses down Alec's bicep, taking the time to sink his teeth into the soft skin of Alec's inner elbow. Alec gulps in a breath at the sensation it sends through him. Then Magnus is moving down his forearm, lifting his left hand. He kisses the wrist, flips his hand over, taking the time to kiss each knuckle individually. He glances up at Alec who is helpless to do little more than stare. 

Magnus starts to say something when the feelings spill out of Alec, unable to be pushed down and held back any longer. "I love you."

Magnus blinks at him, a soft smile crossing his face, eyes shining almost golden in the sunlight. He moves up to kiss Alec's mouth again, "I love you too Alexander."

He takes the time to kiss both of Alec's cheeks before returning to his hand. He guides two of Alec's fingers into his mouth, licking around them, making Alec groan in response. When he releases them, Alec drags his spit-covered fingers over Magnus' neck, dipping beneath the collar of his shirt. Magnus smiles at him, moving his lips to Alec's ribcage, licking over the lowest one before placing kisses up them. When he reaches Alec's chest, he moves up to suck a mark onto Alec's neck before returning to his stomach, moving lower where he's straddling Alec, his hips over Alec's calves rather than his knees. He presses kisses to Alec's stomach, around his belly button, tracing the lines of Alec's abs with his fingertips.

His hand moves down, traces over the scars above Alec's hipbones. Alec had once claimed they were war injuries, only to fold soon after and admit the truth. They were war injuries in a way, collected after he'd come home. The war had still echoed in his head, quieting only when the blade of a knife kissed his skin. 

Now, Magnus takes the time to lavish attention and love to each scar in a way that has Alec's eyes flooding with tears. He blinks rapidly, not wanting to be that person that cries during sex.

Confident that each scar has been attended to, Magnus sits back for a moment, examining them. "Will you get tattoos here as well?"

"I don't know, maybe." 

Magnus considers this. Nods. Then he lifts up to plant both of his legs on one side of Alec's body so he can pull the gym shorts down. He tosses the shorts onto the floor, leaving Alec's boxers in place, moving down the bed so he can presses kisses to Alec's thighs, his fingers massaging the muscles. Alec pushes onto his elbows so he can watch the way Magnus practically worships his body. He moves down again, planting a kiss on Alec's kneecap, before moving to massages his calves. Magnus sits back on his feet and lifts Alec's ankle to his lips, kissing each side before setting the foot in his lap, using his hands to rub the tension out of it. 

Alec shifts his foot, pressing it against Magnus' clothed, half-hard dick. Magnus makes a small noise and deposits his foot back onto the bed to give the same treatment to his other foot before moving back up his leg, taking his time to press kisses at random intervals and work his fingers into hard muscle. When he gets back to Alec's hips, he curls his fingers under the waistband of Alec's boxers, pulling them down his legs and over his feet. He tosses them over his shoulder, layering kisses and kitten-licks to Alec's hips, right around the area where Alec really wants his mouth.

When Magnus leans back again, running his eyes over Alec's body like he's looking for any inch of skin that hasn't been kissed, Alec actually whines. He's already hard, his dick aching and leaking precum over his stomach. "Magnus, more, please."

Magnus traces his fingertips over Alec's sides, too gentle to be ticklish. "I wanted to do your back too."

"Later," Alec promises, sitting up so he can grasp the back of Magnus' neck, bringing their lips together. His other hand dipping into Magnus' sweatpants, finding only skin. He presses his palm against Magnus' dick, stroking him to hardness as Magnus moans into his mouth. Magnus pulls back, breathing hard. Alec smirks at him. "No underwear?"

"Didn't need it."

Alec rolls his eyes. He gently bites Magnus' lower lip. "Make love to me?"

Magnus groans and nods. He moves back to pull his shirt and sweatpants off, reaching to retrieve the lube from the nightstand. He drops it next to Alec's hip, moving between his legs. He grasps Alec's legs, guiding them up over his shoulders, bending Alec nearly in half. Alec curls his hands into the blanket as Magnus licks over his asshole. He takes his sweet time licking over it, relaxing the tight ring of muscle, before pushing inside. Alec is panting, digging his heels into Magnus' shoulder blades. Magnus fucks his tongue into Alec's ass until he's starting to loosen up and then pulls back to open the lube, spreading it over his fingers before pressing them to Alec's hole. 

Alec makes incomprehensible noises as Magnus fingers him until he's loose enough and then lifts Alec's legs from his shoulders, wrapping them around his waist instead. He presses his dick against Alec's hole, making him whine again. "Please."

"Shh," Magnus presses a kiss to his chest as he pushes in, so softly Alec isn't sure if he wants to cry or scream, aching for more stimulation. Finally Magnus is buried deep inside him. Alec loops his arms over Magnus' shoulders, clinging to him like a koala. 

Magnus lifts Alec's hips enough so he can gently drag in and out of him. Alec is a mess beneath him, tears gathering in his eyes again. He reaches a hand between them to stroke himself. A couple well angled thrusts and he's cumming all over Magnus' stomach and his own.

Magnus huffs into Alec's shoulder, thrusting in once more before Alec flinches from the over stimulation. Magnus pulls out and Alec instantly misses the sensation of being full, of being as close to Magnus as he can get. Magnus sets Alec's hips back onto the bed so he can stoke himself in the space between their bodies.

Alec unwraps his legs from Magnus body, nudging Magnus' leg with his foot. "Fuck my thighs."

Magnus groans, straddling Alec so he can position his dick between Alec's thighs, holding them together as he begins to thrust. "Love when you talk dirty."

Alec hums in contemplation. His pillow talk isn't very good, but if Magnus enjoys it, he'll work on it. Not now though. He scratches his nails over Magnus' back. "Love you Magnus."

Magnus cums with a small sob, though his eyes are dry when he pulls back. He flops onto his back next to Alec, running a hand through Alec's hair. "I love you too darling."

Alec lies there for another moment, enjoying the afterglow, before he gets up and makes his way to the bathroom. He cleans himself up first before getting a washcloth and soaking it under hot water. He wrings it out and returns to Magnus side to wipe up his stomach. Magnus hums, "Thank you love."

When he's done, Alec throws the washcloth in the hamper and gets back in bed, curling into Magnus' side. They'll have to get up soon, start their days, but for now Alec just takes the time to enjoy being cuddled up with the boyfriend he loves very much.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of anxiety today so I just sat on my couch and wrote this instead of being a productive and responsible adult. Yay.  
> Also there's probably gonna be at least like 10 works in this series so buckle in y'all.


End file.
